I've not written a blog in a while and I don't know why. I used to write a lot more, but since I've had a Facebook I just use that as my outlet the majority of the time. I keep saying I'm going to delete it, but I never do. Anywhooo, what I wanted to talk about today was North Carolina.
That's right, my beautiful, best of both worlds home state, N.C. As I've gotten older I've found it easier and easier to appreciate the beauty of this state. When I was younger, I never thought anything of it, but then I got into my preteen years and all of my friends constantly talked about leaving to college and going away to find new and better things. So, naturally I had the same thoughts. I thought in order to be worth anything, I had to leave. In high school, I truly believed that if I left North Carolina, my life would automatically become so much better. I enjoyed high school at first, but then I slowly I was drawn into a downward spiral of misery. (yeah, I know...so dramatic) Seriously, though. It was not fun near the end. I felt like all my friends had turned on me, and my heart had been broken multiple times. Woe is me, woe is me. All that jazz. Everyone thinks that THEY are the victim. (Later in life, I realized that maybe I could have been a little nicer to some people or made some better choices to make my high school experience a little more enjoyable)
That's beside the point, though. Everyone dreams of leaving and going off to college once they finish high school. In a small town, also, everyone knows what you're doing, where you're going and how successful you are. There's a lot of pressure there, whether you act like you care or not. It's always there, in the back of your mind. I got a scholarship in middle school to go to my local University, WCU, for free for two years. How could I turn down that offer? I knew it would help my parents out financially, and I knew that it would make my journey a lot simpler...but was it worth staying in this town for FOUR more years?? I fought this inner battle for the first year of my college career. I wanted to leave so bad and I would constantly complain about how much I despised Sylva, and North Carolina as a whole. It would get so bad to the point that I would break down and cry about being "stuck" here forever. It seemed like everyone in my high school class was moving on to bigger and greater things, and here I was at my local community college studying Gen. Ed. What could I say for myself? Basically, I felt pathetic.
I was also feeling a little of the after affects of high school and didn't really have very many friends I felt I could rely on. Maybe one, or two. I needed an escape.
The minute I stumbled across the Disney College Program and saw that I could live in Florida and work at Disney World (my favorite vacation spot ever), I jumped on it. Miraculously, I got in. I was so excited when I read the e-mail while sitting in my Economics class on a Tuesday afternoon, that I just got up and left it. I had finally achieved something!
The whole experience was fantastic. I loved every minute of my program and met some of the best people ever, and made lifelong friends. They understood me in a way that my friends from home never did. However, I felt myself becoming more and more homesick. Why was this happening?? How could I dream of leaving for so long, but then want to come back?
When I made it back home, I was so happy to see my family and a couple of my friends. I had a new appreciation for Sylva, even though I did love Florida and the time I spent there.
My dad loves to travel and we've been all over the United States (48/50 states to be exact) and Canada, and still North Carolina seems to be the most comfortable place to me. Maybe it's because it brings that feeling of "home". Or maybe it's the fact that we get all four seasons instead of just hot or just cold.
Anyway, I came back from Disney and continued my education and ended up graduating from SCC with an Associates in Arts degree (hey, it's something), and transferred to WCU to pursue a teaching degree. I'm currently here at WCU and I love it. I've got an amazing job with amazing bosses and coworkers. I've got an amazing family that is there for me no matter what. I re-met (we went to high school together) the man of my dreams and we're in a healthy, happy relationship. Everything is right in the world. And where am I? That's right, Sylva, North Carolina.
So what if everyone is off doing bigger things, and becoming super successful somewhere else. I have everything I'll ever need here. I don't plan on staying in Sylva, but I never want to live anywhere besides North Carolina again. I'll travel, and explore the world, but my first house will be built right here in North Carolina. Asheville, preferably. ;) Such a great city.
Every morning, when I wake up, I feel so blessed and thankful to live in such a beautiful place and I'll never take it for granted.
My main point:
If there's any teenagers (or whatever age) reading this that feel as if they HAVE to leave their home in order to make something of themselves, or be happier...try it out. I'm not speaking against that. I'm just saying, from experience, that it's not always your location that makes you unhappy. It's who you choose to love, befriend, and devote your life to. I devote my life to people who care as much about me as I do about them. I didn't do that when I was younger. You live, and you learn.
North Carolina is the most magical place in the world to me now that I know who I am. It was a black hole when I was younger only because I was confused and unsure of myself then.
Anyway,
No matter where you wander off to, don't forget where you come from and who you are. It just might be the place for you after all!
